Posted by on Dec 30, 2011 in Blog | 0 comments


This article was brought to my attention yesterday, the more I read it, the more I can feel myself getting angry. Why read it then, you may ask, because by repeatedly reading it I am forcing myself to accept that this is the reality of our community. This is the grotesque tragic dismal reality of our community.

I write this post with a heavy heart and a feeling of sheer frustration. Purely because there would be some consultation if this was a one off case, but in fact it isn’t, living in Bradford i know this occurs on a DAILY basis, I was recently told by a 16yr old girl who attends my circles that she has a classmate due to give birth this month. The father of this child has not informed his family in fear of repercussions.

I ask these men, WHY DIDNT YOU DO ANYTHING TO PREVENT THE PREGNANCY? seriously?!?!? why get into the situation in the first place if you can’t handle the responsibility? what, is it ok to take someones dignity and honour just because you can’t control your urges, yet you don’t want anything to do with after because your too much of a coward to face the consequences?

I ask the parents of the man in question, surely your son must be unhappy in his marriage if he has had an affair with another woman? Why has this not been discussed?

I know exactly why,because you don’t like hearing the truth! Because by admitting that the marriage is a failure and was orchestrated purely for convenience purposes shows the flaws in the tribal culture you hold on to so dearly. The very culture that makes you neglectful parents!

I am not advocating allowing rampant sex orgys, rather to be progressive within the islamic framework, as was demonstrated to me, by someone who told me we should take lessons from the era’s of failure, and how leaders arose standing firm to key principles but who were also compassionate and flexible. We lack compassion, We lack mercy

It is a problem which is breaking our society. Children born lacking the mentoring of both parents, born into a world where they will be viewed as the product of sin and lust. It isn’t healthy for any child. The emotional baggage they will carry isn’t healthy for any community.

I find myself drawing to a close…pondering on that infinite question….

What on earth do we do?

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